Hello to everyone

Unread post by **JoeMama** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 3:34 am

Hey all,

First off, apologies to machinebacon for my ghetto ass drive-by shooting style of posting the videos. I intended on posting the videos and my introduction at the same time. However, I was babysitting my two nieces by myself, for the very first time. I'm single. I have no children. They are 11 month old twins. I will never have sex again. Now I know why lions eat their young. Then, after the twins left I had to go out and collect all my money from all my bitches. O.K. that last part was a lie. Everybody knows we do all our transactions online. Anyway, sorry about the sorta anonymous drive-by posting. Cuz I hadn't introduced myself, I felt it may have come across as a little rude. If you want, you can have one of my tacos, I have an extra one.

O.K. Now for my disclaimer.
As it states on the LinuxBBQ home page, I really shouldn't be using LinuxBBQ.
I am totally new to Linux and don't have a clue on how to do a lot of the basics.
But here is why I choose LinuxBBQ
1. You told me not to.
2. Linux is like a condom for your computer. Dare I say It protects your Boner and CLIt from viruses while watching porn?
3. I lost my mouse and I've always wanted to learn how to type.
4. Anything made with, from or involving bacon, I am down with. Except for any of that low-fat soy, veggie, artificial fake bacon shit. If I want "healthy low-fat bacon" I'll wrap 5 strips around a fuckin carrot.
5. I hate emoticons.
6. I love pizza. But thick crust or pan style fills me up too fast and doesn't allow me to fully enjoy the flavor. So I always get thin crust pizza. So I guess I like my distros like I like my pizza: Sliced Thin So The Flavor Can't Hide

I usually don't learn anything until I screw it up and try to fix it. So, from my perspective, LinuxBBQ is broke from the get go. This will force me to bury my head in wiki's, tutorials, manuals etc. and spend the time doing my homework. At the end of the day, all I really care about is learning how to use Linux and get a more in depth knowledge of computers. I'm not looking for an OOTB ready to use OS. If I was, I'd go elsewhere. Besides, I can always use my pc with windows on it. Since there is a good chance that I will use computers for the rest of my life, I am in no hurry. I realize this is going to take time. I also realize that you guys have lives and that the word "forum" is not Latin for "let us wipe your ass for you". So I will try to do my due diligence and present my stupid ass questions as intelligently as possible.

They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. So here is a visual representation of my Linux skillz

Oh, one more thing. I have noticed that many of you are not from the States and speak more than one language.
So with that, Fuck, Shit, Bitch, Cock, Balls...pardon my French.

Talk at you soon,
JoeMama

Unread post by **dkeg** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 4:28 am

welcome aboard. good intro. thinks you should do fine here. just watch the juice

Unread post by **vic** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 5:40 am

hi JoeMama, come in and take a dive into the bbq buffet, have fun and let the bbq make your day

Unread post by **JoeMama** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:13 am

Thanks boys, I appreciate it. I didn't mention it in my intro, but I'd have to say without question, the real reason why I choose BBQ is because of everybody here. Prior to joining I, tried to look through the forum and get an idea of the overall tone and atmosphere here. This is the first forum I've ever joined, for anything at all. I have browsed thru others when looking for answers and left thinking what a bunch of arrogant f**ks or wanting to puke cuz it felt like some 13 year old girls facebook page.
dkeg, if by "juice" u were referring to language. Sorry bout that. I'll watch my tongue. Suckin on a bar of soap as I type. :D

Unread post by **machinebacon** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:21 am

Naaah, he means the gravy!

There's absolutely no problem in using whatever language you prefer. And we are all ass-fetishists (right, the ham part)
Glad you joined!

Unread post by **machinebacon** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 6:24 am

...and an add-it: of course you should ask if you get stuck somewhere, especially since you're new to Linux. I can guarantee that nobody will step on your toes and that you get an answer/solution within a few hours.

So, welcome to the grill!

Unread post by **JoeMama** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 7:23 am

Thanks for the warm and roasty welcome Bacon. Still learnin to sprechity the lingity of the grill. Didn't put 2+2 together and realize that juice might literally be referring to au jus / gravy. Duh. I'm still learning how to boil water. :)

Unread post by **rhowaldt** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:00 am

JoeMama, that was one of the greatest introductions i have ever had the pleasure of reading. i appreciate good writing, proper profanity and lots of humor. if you then also add a Maddox link, i am sold. much welcome to the gloryhole. please never censor your fucks and whatever... or censor everything besides the profanity, would be a nice touch too :D

Unread post by **wuxmedia** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:14 am

hey Joemama - welcome. slice off a chunk of biltong and enjoy!
you'll do just fine here. we like a good joke, well most of us 8D
drop by the IRC sometime.
@Rhow - you fucking pottymouth!

Unread post by **JoeMama** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 9:48 am

Thanks Rhowaldt and Wux. I'm glad you enjoyed my intro. One of the reasons why I wanted to be here is cuz I had a feeling you all would appreciate my sense of humor, which for now, is about all I can bring. Rhowaldt, I definitely picked up yours when I was going over the wiki, even some of real subtle shit. Every time I read the "how not to ask a question" example I fuckin crack up. Priceless. So Wux, Jessica Rabbit or that Thundercat Ho, Cheetara? As far as the Maddox page, every time I read it, that shit brings me to tears from laughin so hard.

Unread post by **dkeg** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 12:52 pm

dkeg, if by "juice" u were referring to language. Sorry bout that. I'll watch my tongue. Suckin on a bar of soap as I type. :D

No fucker, I was referring to all the juicy meat. Enjoy!

Unread post by **missinglink** » Fri Jun 28, 2013 10:10 pm

machinebacon wrote: ... There's absolutely no problem in using whatever language you prefer.

LinuxBBQ is, after all, the official distro of Samuel L. Jackson.

Unread post by **slartie** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 1:08 am

Well fuck me sideways and spank a monkey.

I mean .. Welcome.

Sizzlin'

Unread post by **ivanovnegro** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 2:05 am

machinebacon wrote:...and an add-it: of course you should ask if you get stuck somewhere, especially since you're new to Linux. I can guarantee that nobody will step on your toes and that you get an answer/solution within a few hours.

So, welcome to the grill!

+1

And yep, what an intro, one of the best I have ever read. A big welcome!

Unread post by **JoeMama** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 3:13 am

slartie, missinglink, ivanovnegro, dkeg, vic, bacon, rho, wux ... All you fucktards.

In all honesty, your replies have confirmed that this is the place for me. I loved em!! Was lmao.
You guys will make this horrible decision of trying to learn Linux so much more fun and I'm sure, the taking of my Prozac so much more desirable.

Unread post by **JoeMama** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 4:09 am

Forgot to add in previous reply
@dkeg. eye am so fah keen wee todd did.

And Hell To the Mutha Fuckin Yeah, for BBQ being the Official Samuel L. Jackson distro. Then again, none of us should be surprised. Cuz after all, it is One Tasty Distro. Distro of Champions. OK, I need to go get a soda.

Unread post by **machinebacon** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 7:11 am

Finally some normal people here: calling me a fucktard. :)

Guess we all learned Linux by breaking the shit to an unrecoverable state. By the third time doing the same stupid mistake, we took a piece of paper and wrote down "don't fucking apt-get autoremove libc6" - it works.

Unread post by **rhowaldt** » Sun Jun 30, 2013 10:31 am

@joemama: you probably already noticed, but if not, check some of the Wiki in the 'First Time?' category. it has explanations for some very basic Linux-concepts, such as the kernel, the difference between the root user and the root directory, what are distributions, what are config files, and even a terminal introduction! get with the program buddy: http://linuxbbq.org/wiki/index.php?titl ... st_time%3F :D

P.S. good fucking luck. you are in for some fun and new things, and i appreciate your happiness in making this trip together with us morons :)
if you got questions, ask!

Unread post by **4eyes** » Mon Jul 01, 2013 12:05 am

re: 1. You told me not to.

Yup... me too!

Live dangerously I say.

I also have this overwhelming urge to do an upgrade without checking the upgrade warnings... I can't help it, its the same when I stand near a cliff edge.... part of me is saying, "go on, one more step, you'll be fine" :)

Unread post by **JoeMama** » Mon Jul 01, 2013 4:42 am

^I I I I,
Dangerous is the only way to go! Just make sure the voice saying "Go on, one more step, you'll be fine" isn't coming from some old guy with a beard, an eye patch, and a parrot and he's not complaining about the steering wheel attached to his crotch. Other than that, it's all Gravy.

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